Sandwich Tutorial

Hello all you eager sandwich makers. Today we will be discussing the complex process the world knows as 'making a sandwich'. I kidd you not, this tutorial will act as a life-saving skill to learn. Feel free to take notes as I walk you through. Let's get going!

Step 1. Plate/Napkin/Something to eat on.

As eager as we might be to jump into the exciting part, we need to start small. You need to find a plate, napkin, or something else that you could eat your sandwich on. (Ex. Toilet Seat) Why do I need to eat it on something? Well, you need something that will hold any crumbs or excess sandwich innards that fall out. It would be a shame if you got crumbs on the floor or the couch. (And if you live with your parents like me, a tongue lashing might follow if you make a mess. You'll die. Seriously.)

Step 2. Bread, Bread, Bread.

There are several different types of bread in this world, and sometimes the type of bread can compliment the sandwich. Pick something you know you like, or whatever you have available at the time. You will need two pieces of whatever kind of bread or bun you choose. (FYI. Buns usually spread into two separate pieces, don't make the mistake of using two buns for one sandwich; you want to save your supplies so you can practice sandwiching in the future!) Set the pieces side by side on whatever you chose for the previous step. (**If you don't have normal bread or buns, you can improvise with things like two waffles, pancakes, or even pieces of glass! Feel free to be creative.**)

Step 3. Spreads.

Jelly, Honey, Mayonnaise, Mustard, Ketchup, Butter, Nutella, whatever. Anything with a liquid-like consistency that you want to put on your sandwich would go in this step. For spreading you'll need the condiment of you choice and a knife. (**Make sure you have adult supervision when using a knife, even butter knives. We rather be safe than sorry!**) If your spread is in a jar then you will need to put the knife in the jar and then get some out onto one (or both) pieces of bread or bun. Be cautious and don't put too much to start with, it's easier to add more later than to put back without being messy. If your spread is in a bottle kind of thing (like syrup) then you will need to put a tiny amount on and carefully spread it around with your knife. After you finish using the knife, do NOT lick it clean. It might be tempting, but you might cut your tongue off or get a booboo and that would be unfortunate. Try your best to put the excess on the knife back into the container if possible, and then go about rinsing it off in a nearby sink.

Step 4. That other stuff.

Pickles, Tomatoes, Bacon, Human Flesh, Lettuce, Meats, Cheeses, Chocolate, Pineapple, etc. Now we slap on a lot of solid-like things onto what is so far our sandwich. Put all of this only on one of your pieces of bread/bun. Be creative! Feel free to combine several things, even if you think they sound weird together. You never know what weird sandwiches you'll come to end up liking. If you don't have many food items to put on it, I recommend looking around the house for common household objects that'll add that bit of zest to your sandwich. (Staplers, Carpet Fibers, Cotton Swabs, Dirty/Clean Laundry, Pet food, and much much more!)

Step 5. Don't forget this.

Once you have successfully completed the previous steps make sure to take the bun/slice with none of that delicious step 4 on it and place it on top of your other existing piece. By doing this you pull the sandwich into being complete.

Step 6. Eat it.

My favorite step, eat your sandwich like a barbarian. Some people may view this as sloppy, but if you eat it in a rather neat fashion then you won't have as much adrenaline and excitement. Everyone wants to be gushing adrenaline while eating a sandwich, seriously.

Thanks for reading, I hope this tutorial helped! If you have questions feel free to whisper me in-game or comment on this thread!

**EDIT: This probably is loaded with typos, Super Kono might come in and kick flank and like fix this up. My brain is fried, thank you school.**